Don't Worry...

I've been trying really hard NOT to care what other people think about me, but today was a little different.

At lunch I was walking to the bus and a car pulled up to me and rolled down its window. Inside were some of the people in my ASB class and the girl shouted out the window "HEY ____! Get in, we're going to lunch!" and I said "ohh... sorry... I can't. I have to get home. But maybe next time!"

The reason I told them no was because I didn't want them to know that I didn't have any money for lunch, I didn't want them to know that tomorrow is my last day at this school and I have to attend an alternative high school because I'm suddenly fucking up in school, I didn't want them to think of me as one of  THOSE guys. 

I feel so stupid because I shouldn't care what other people think about me, and I did and still do. 

Its hard not to care. 

Other then that, my day went pretty good. Lets hope the rest of the day is better.


J said...

i would have done the same thing in that situation, i hate going out and not having any money. and i hate those people that do it, had a friend who never had money.

Aek said...

Yeah, like J said, I probably would've reacted much the same way.

I'm sorry you have to transfer schools, but I hope things start looking up for you real soon. Don't let things get you down, okay? Ride out the bad until the good rolls in.


naturgesetz said...

It's only natural to care what other people think of you. Of course you want people to think well of you. We all do.

And if you're not happy about the transfer, of course you don't want to have to talk about it.

So don't feel bad about your feelings. They show that you are a human.

Hope all goes well in the new school.