1/29/09

12 Days, No Post

Wow.

Time flew since my last post! It seems like only a couple days had pasted.

I really want to start regularly blogging. I have been thinking about micro-blogging (twitter) for a while now. I think its the simplest way to keep everybody updated on the little things that happen throughout my day, instead of trying to remember all the little details and writing a long post at the end of the day. So click here to check out the Twitter page :)

Don't take this the wrong way! I'm still going to be blogging! This is just for fun :P

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So... guess what?

I'm switching schools again. This one was all my fault. I seriously fucked up my attendance earlier in the year because I was always sick and depressed.

So now I have to attend an "alternative school." Blehh.. that sounds so bad. I've never had to worry about bad grades or bad attendance. This academic year hit me hard, and I LET it fuck me up. Sorry for the bad language, just venting.



In response to some people, I'm pretty sure my mom knows that I'm gay, or at least bi. My dad, not so sure... but yesterday I met this girl and she was so annoying and loud... she came up to me and whispered in my ear "don't get mad or anything, but are you bi ?" It kinda bothered me that someone just came up to me and asked me. I think what really got to me was the fact that she noticed. Maybe I said something, I don't remember all the details.

Is it that noticeable? And if it is, why haven't other people asked me? Does that mean my dad can tell?

Everyone I have been introduced up here within the past week, I have been totally upfront and honest with them about my orientation. It feels so good to not have to hide it! And my new best friend is bi and she's amazing.

Moving on -- I just want to apologize again for being so distant these past couple weeks. I haven't been texting, IMing, Blogging, or emailing as much as I should be.

Paul asked me if I think my dad tells me he loves me 'no matter what' because he might suspects, and wants me to tell him, that I'm gay.
--I'm going to have to say... No. I came into my dad's life the same year he became sober. He sees me as a blessing in his life. He MIGHT be trying to get me to tell him I'm gay, but... idk. I don't think my dad (at least I hope not) would tell me something that I wanted to hear just so I would come out to him.

More to ponder on! Haha
I'm trying to stay positive everyday. I know I can work through all of this... eventually.

Until Then,
DL

7 comments:

J said...

i dont think its that noticeable unless youre just flaming, but i hate when someone asks me am i gay. its just something about that phrase that doesnt sit well

Aek said...

Dude! You live!!

I would think it'd be annoying if someone you didn't know really well came up to you and asked if you were bi/gay. I would be really annoyed/freaked out if someone did that to me.

Anyway, I hope you're doing well out there! If you don't feel comfortable coming out to your dad, don't force yourself to. That wouldn't be ideal for you.

And get online every now and then!

call.the.shots said...

i can understand y u would be mad about that girl asking u if u were bi. i'd be mad myself. it makes me and i'm sure you too, so insecure and it makes u start to second guess yourself. oh how fun living life on the dl can be....

Anonymous said...

Hey DL,

No I didn't mean he says I love you just because thats what you want to hear I think he says it because he means it and because he wants to re-enforce that no matter what, he is there if you want to tell him anything. That's a sign of a good parent or atleast trying to be a good parent.

Are you afraid to tell him because your afraid he will disown or not love you anymore or are you just not comfortable just yet? I not advocating to come out until you are ready but I just wanted to get to know you better thats why I am asking? Are you not sure if he is a homophobe?

If you think that, have you ever watched something that was gay themed? Not like another gay sequel where EVERYTHING is gay but something along the lines of Will and Grace like together? If not maybe you can do that and gage his reaction or see if he makes any comments towards gays whether it be positive or negative and then go from there?

Thats awesome that your dad is sober good for him. Strong willed man.

Paul

Steevo said...

Thanks for posting. Alternative schools can be very good if you use them wisely.

Sounds like you are doing OK. Did you ever see a therapist?

Last night I was telling a gay guy in AUS that I think that one of the most common mistakes young gay guys make is to think that a parent is so clueless. Very very often they know a lot more than they let on either out of respect or uncertainty what to do or say... but they often have a pretty good idea. Which is fine.

[wayin]

steevo

naturgesetz said...

The background you gave about your dad is helpful in understanding why he feels it is so important to tell you he loves you unconditionally.

I hope you'll do well in your new school. Maybe the atmosphere will be encouraging. Anyway, make the best of it.

It must feel great to be able to be completely honest and open with your new acquaintances.

Anonymous said...

I think that girl asked you because at your age, any str8 guy and most of the bi ones are trying to nail every pussy in site. You obviously aren't. Hence, the query.