tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3072286324286811642024-02-08T09:19:43.546-08:00Life On The DL<b><big>So this is here for me to rant, shout, whisper, whatev.
VERY NEW TO BLOGGING. and im generally pretty bad at expressing whats going on in my head. But this is my attempt to reach out. </big></b>Lost in Confusionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15383915648360592960noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-307228632428681164.post-8193004729855754962009-03-23T12:33:00.000-07:002009-03-23T12:38:44.753-07:00My Apologies...<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Where the fuck have I been??</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Sorry I haven't written anything in a month! I've been extremely busy and I am going to make it a priority to make a post explaining everything that has been going on this past month.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Thank You to those who kept/keep in touch through email, twitter, etc. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Lots to share with you guys </span></div><div><br /></div>Lost in Confusionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15383915648360592960noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-307228632428681164.post-6912171535694609722009-02-05T17:01:00.000-08:002009-02-05T17:09:46.510-08:00I Give UpI give up on trying to hang out with my dad.<div><br /></div><div>This is BULLSHIT.</div><div><br /></div><div>I wanted to hang out with my dad last night so I told my work I couldn't come in. I called my dad at about 5 and told him that I was available to hang out. He has meetings every monday and tuesday night and every thursday my little sister comes and stays with me and my dad until sunday. I figured that this would be the one night of the week that we could hang out, just us. </div><div><br /></div><div>So I called and left him a message saying that I don't work and we should hang out. He came home at 11 pm and said "I just got your message, sorry man." So I shrugged it off and went to bed. Then about an hour ago, he came home without my little sister and I asked him what time he's going to go get her. He said "oh, she's gonna hang out with her mom tonight." I told him that I don't work and that we should hang out. He said he was going to go pick up his "friend" (this gal, I think they're dating but he doesn't tell me shit so I wouldn't know) and he can't hang out with me tonight. </div><div><br /></div><div>That means that starting tomorrow he's going to be busy giving my little sister everything she wants until sunday then he has meetings on monday and tuesday then MAYBE he can schedule in some time for me.</div><div><br /></div><div>It feels like I have a lump in the middle of my throat. This sucks. </div>Lost in Confusionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15383915648360592960noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-307228632428681164.post-56684457309387217132009-02-05T16:10:00.000-08:002009-02-05T16:19:55.798-08:00Don't Worry...<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I've been trying really hard NOT to care what other people think about me, but today was a little different.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">At lunch I was walking to the bus and a car pulled up to me and rolled down its window. Inside were some of the people in my ASB class and the girl shouted out the window "HEY ____! Get in, we're going to lunch!" and I said "ohh... sorry... I can't. I have to get home. But maybe next time!"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The reason I told them no was because I didn't want them to know that I didn't have any money for lunch, I didn't want them to know that tomorrow is my last day at this school and I have to attend an alternative high school because I'm suddenly fucking up in school, I didn't want them to think of me as one of THOSE guys. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I feel so stupid because I shouldn't care what other people think about me, and I did and still do. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Its hard not to care. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Other then that, my day went pretty good. Lets hope the rest of the day is better.</span></div>Lost in Confusionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15383915648360592960noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-307228632428681164.post-3696573937904863592009-01-31T13:54:00.000-08:002009-01-31T13:56:33.489-08:00UpdateAn update on the coming out status...<div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>I COMPLETELY came out to my friend yesterday. </div><div>I told her I lied about being bi and told her I was gay. She is totally fine with it.</div><div><br /></div><div>It's sunny and cool and just a great weekend :)</div>Lost in Confusionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15383915648360592960noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-307228632428681164.post-32726418112261846672009-01-29T16:55:00.000-08:002009-01-29T17:49:57.686-08:0012 Days, No PostWow.<br /><br />Time flew since my last post! It seems like only a couple days had pasted.<br /><br />I really want to start regularly blogging. I have been thinking about micro-blogging (twitter) for a while now. I think its the simplest way to keep everybody updated on the little things that happen throughout my day, instead of trying to remember all the little details and writing a long post at the end of the day. <a href="http://twitter.com/LifeontheDL">So click here to check out the Twitter page :)</a><br /><br />Don't take this the wrong way! I'm still going to be blogging! This is just for fun :P<br /><br />------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />So... guess what?<br /><br />I'm switching schools again. This one was all my fault. I seriously fucked up my attendance earlier in the year because I was always sick and depressed.<br /><br />So now I have to attend an "alternative school." Blehh.. that sounds so bad. I've never had to worry about bad grades or bad attendance. This academic year hit me hard, and I LET it fuck me up. Sorry for the bad language, just venting.<br /><br /><br /><br />In response to some people, I'm pretty sure my mom knows that I'm gay, or at least bi. My dad, not so sure... but yesterday I met this girl and she was so annoying and loud... she came up to me and whispered in my ear "don't get mad or anything, but are you bi ?" It kinda bothered me that someone just came up to me and asked me. I think what really got to me was the fact that she noticed. Maybe I said something, I don't remember all the details.<br /><br />Is it that noticeable? And if it is, why haven't other people asked me? Does that mean my dad can tell?<br /><br />Everyone I have been introduced up here within the past week, I have been totally upfront and honest with them about my orientation. It feels so good to not have to hide it! And my new best friend is bi and she's amazing.<br /><br />Moving on -- I just want to apologize again for being so distant these past couple weeks. I haven't been texting, IMing, Blogging, or emailing as much as I should be.<br /><br />Paul asked me if I think my dad tells me he loves me 'no matter what' because he might suspects, and wants me to tell him, that I'm gay.<br />--I'm going to have to say... No. I came into my dad's life the same year he became sober. He sees me as a blessing in his life. He MIGHT be trying to get me to tell him I'm gay, but... idk. I don't think my dad (at least I hope not) would tell me something that I wanted to hear just so I would come out to him.<br /><br />More to ponder on! Haha<br />I'm trying to stay positive everyday. I know I can work through all of this... eventually.<br /><br />Until Then,<br />DLLost in Confusionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15383915648360592960noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-307228632428681164.post-5305965094556227432009-01-17T11:59:00.000-08:002009-01-17T12:38:41.384-08:00It's Been A While<div><br /></div><div>I'm sorry I haven't been blogging! There has been so much crap going on that it's been hard for me to get anything done. I've been working on college apps so I haven't really wanted to write anything because of all the essay work. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Blahh</span></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">SOOO</span> much stuff has happened since my last post...</div><div><br /></div><div>I've been talking to my dad about everything going on in my head, except that I'm gay, and he's been completely helpful and understanding about everything. I also told him that I want to start seeing a therapist just so I can get some things figured out in my head. </div><div><br /></div><div><a href="http://steevo2.blogspot.com"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Steevo</span> in Cali</a> has asked me questions about my dad that I think would help all of my readers understand who my dad is. So here are the questions w/ my response to each:</div><div><br /></div><div>1. Do you think your dad knows or suspects that you're gay?</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Hmm</span>... I'm not sure. Lately he has kinda been avoiding me (at least <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">that's</span> what I think). I've been dropping clues here and there by talking about having thoughts on my mind that make me hate myself sometimes... but I'm not sure if I want him to ask me if I'm gay, or if I should just tell him. </div><div><br /></div><div>2. Has he said or done anything to indicate how he might react if/when you tell him the truth?</div><div><br /></div><div>Yes, he has made it clear that I can NEVER disappoint him... but I think that being Gay is such a huge thing that what he said, may not apply to this. Sometimes he tells 'gay jokes' and makes fun of gay people or how people are dressed or wear their hair. It's so stupid, but I guess everyone does that at one time or another. </div><div><br /></div><div>What's funny to me is that if I didn't know my dad and never met him and saw him walking down the street or something, I would think that he's (maybe) gay, at least bi or something. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">hahaha</span> He has really great style, short spiky hair, nice clothes (google -- Robert Graham, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">that's</span> all he wears), and he's always smiling and cracking jokes, and he's in great shape, tall, just good looking (sounds like I have a crush on him <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">HAHA</span>). </div><div><br /></div><div>BTW, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Steevo</span>, your description of him was RIGHT on, except he has light brown hair <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">haha</span>.</div><div><br /></div><div>3. How 'out' are you to yourself?</div><div><br /></div><div>Great question. I used to think of myself as Bi, until one night I had that chance to either go to a movie with this girl that I like, or go over to my neighbor's house (whom I was regularly 'hanging out' with) and I chose to go over to his house. </div><div><br /></div><div>Sometimes I feel attracted to women but I just know deep down that I really don't care about getting into their pants... but wanting to know if they have an older brother or something. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">haha</span></div><div><br /></div><div>I now know that I am Gay and the only problem that I have with that is that I'm afraid to come out. </div><div><br /></div><div>4. How is your relationship between you and your dad?</div><div><br /></div><div>Our relationship is solid. There are some stuff that I haven't discussed in any posts about my dad. </div><div><br /></div><div>Here are the facts:</div><div>- I was unaware that my dad (biological dad, one <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">I've</span> been talking about) existed.</div><div>- Was made aware of his existence at the age of 8</div><div>- Made contact and met in person at age 9</div><div>- First time flying to Seattle for a holiday visit, age 9. Every Christmas and part of summer since then.</div><div>- Moved in w/ him and his wife and her son at age 12. Lasted 3 months. Moved back to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">cali</span>.</div><div>- Living here permanently starting on Dec. 17<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">thish</span>. </div><div>- We get along GREAT! Always laughing and talking and just getting to know one another.</div><div>- For some reason, his opinion is the only one that matters to me, yet he's always saying how he loves me unconditionally. I just don't want to let him down.</div><div><br /></div><div>Hopefully this has helped everyone understand why I am so afraid to come out to him, as much as I want to and think about it every minute that I'm awake.</div><div><br /></div><div>More posts to follow! This is just an update on my dad. Lots more has happened since my last post. :P </div><div><br /></div><div>Any other questions about my dad or my 'out' status, just ask and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">I'll</span> address them in another post</div><div><br /></div>Lost in Confusionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15383915648360592960noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-307228632428681164.post-27941014529784637302009-01-02T15:33:00.000-08:002009-01-02T15:49:53.529-08:00HahahaI don't know if I should be posting this, but whatever, its cute. <div><br /></div><div>Umm... I hung out with this new guy the other day, lets call him AKguy (he's from Alaska) and we've been talking nonstop (via text, haha lame, I know) and he's so funny and knows exactly how to make a person laugh. :D</div><div><br /></div><div>An example:</div><div>Him -- "Hey how u been? Sorry i didn't talk 2 u earlier, didn't have my cell :)"</div><div>Me -- "Gettin ready for work, what are you doin tonight?"</div><div>Him -- "I'm doin you. Why?"</div><div>Me -- "Just making sure =P"</div><div>Him -- " Lol, no plans yet. What are you doin later?"</div><div><br /></div><div>haha this guy is so nice. And having a sense of humor is DEFINITELY a plus.</div><div><br /></div><div>Lets see what happens after work.</div><div><br /></div><div>Until Then,</div><div>DL</div><div><br /></div><div>By the way, you need to go on youtube and check out Morgan Page's -- Call My Name. Feat. Tyler James.</div><div><br /></div><div>Really cool song, if you here the right version. </div>Lost in Confusionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15383915648360592960noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-307228632428681164.post-81043183416184973522008-12-29T23:21:00.000-08:002008-12-29T23:35:44.610-08:00They Say...<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">They say you learn something new everyday, right? </span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Well, I recently discovered from 'Coffee' guy that there are different names for different types of Tie formations. Like a suit and a tie, tie. Get it? </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Haha! So he told me that the way I tie Ties is called the 'Prince Albert' tie. Ohhh... funny. Haha</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">So yeah, Every time I go to work, I sport a stylish Prince Albert for everyone to see. =D</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><br /></div><div>Ohh. I crack myself up</div><div><br /></div>Lost in Confusionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15383915648360592960noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-307228632428681164.post-48193048647567197902008-12-25T00:17:00.001-08:002008-12-25T00:20:55.034-08:00Breathe Me -- Sia<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';">I </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';">cannot</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"> get this song out of my head!</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';">Such a great song! My favorite part is the major Cello action at about 4:30. Wow.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';">Sia sure does look crazy, but her voice is fantastic. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; font-size: 10px; white-space: pre; "><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/H9ncUQ-Vfjg&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/H9ncUQ-Vfjg&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></span><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; font-size: 10px; white-space: pre;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';">By the way...</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; white-space: pre; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; white-space: pre; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Happy Holidays Everyone :)</span></span></div>Lost in Confusionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15383915648360592960noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-307228632428681164.post-37128452849376237732008-12-23T14:43:00.000-08:002008-12-23T14:46:26.016-08:00Whoops..<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I just got off the phone with 'coffee date' and he said he has been in bed sick for the past couple days... oops... haha hope I didn't give him my cold. </span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Anywho, more postings to follow later. I wanted to go over some things that I addressed in the previous post.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Until Then,</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">DL</span></div>Lost in Confusionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15383915648360592960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-307228632428681164.post-91157425275843189742008-12-22T01:49:00.000-08:002008-12-22T02:07:51.377-08:00Some Type of Meltdown<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">You would think that by me moving and having more time to myself, I would be able to focus and clear my mind. Wrong, so wrong. Instead, I just get more time to dwell on my thoughts and continue to feel sorry for myself. I fucking HATE me. </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I need some type of help, because I know that there's NOTHING I can do to stop feeling this way. I hate it. I thought (especially after yesterday) that I was done feeling the way I do, but I guess I just lied to myself... again. Every little thing has been setting me off today... I thought I was happy again. I was feeling truthful again. Now I just feel fucking stupid. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Yesterday, I tried to come out to someone... </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">That blew up in my face. :(</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I don't think I've cried that hard in a long time... and still crying...</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">It helps to have someone to talk to about it... (thank you, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">btw</span>) but I don't like throwing my emotions onto other people. UGH, I'm doing it now, I know. But I don't know where else to go. I can't talk about this to anyone in person... </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Nothing I can do. I thought that being here would help me. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">But now I don't want to be here... </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">No, I refuse to see anybody about my "problem" because I'm embarrassed... and I'm ashamed. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">How I'm going to deal with this, I have no idea. As of right now, I have a giant lump of depression in my throat and I can't swallow it. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">If I don't write back for a few days, it's because I'm to pissed to put my feelings into words. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Not to sound dumb or anything, but I can't believe how bad it hurts to deal with this.</span></span></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Lost in Confusionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15383915648360592960noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-307228632428681164.post-50629599293370775162008-12-19T16:04:00.000-08:002008-12-20T00:55:04.900-08:00Snow<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">Seems to be a heated topic right now on the West Coast!</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">(pun intended)</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">Sooo... like any other person that hardly EVER gets to experience a "true winter," I took some pictures! </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">Hope they are to your liking :)</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">Also... they're WAY to big. I know, but I already resized them and I don't feel like doing it again. Hahaha </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">If somebody knows a faster way to resize all of your pictures, please let me know.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre; font-family:'Lucida Grande';font-size:10px;"><a href="http://s547.photobucket.com/albums/hh452/meonthedl/?action=view&current=DSCN1116.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i547.photobucket.com/albums/hh452/meonthedl/DSCN1116.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre;font-family:'Lucida Grande';font-size:10px;"><a href="http://s547.photobucket.com/albums/hh452/meonthedl/?action=view&current=DSCN1109.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i547.photobucket.com/albums/hh452/meonthedl/DSCN1109.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre;font-family:'Lucida Grande';font-size:10px;"><a href="http://s547.photobucket.com/%3Ca%20href=" action="view&current=" target="_blank"><img src="http://i547.photobucket.com/albums/hh452/meonthedl/DSCN1090.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre;font-family:'Lucida Grande';font-size:10px;"><br /></span></div>Lost in Confusionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15383915648360592960noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-307228632428681164.post-35402055092474259192008-12-18T00:53:00.000-08:002008-12-18T07:43:45.906-08:00I love coffee...<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">My coffee date went amazing! Good thing I had the house to myself tonight! haha<br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">Great night, looking forward to this weekend. =)</span></span></div>Lost in Confusionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15383915648360592960noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-307228632428681164.post-80423005466159405802008-12-15T21:40:00.000-08:002008-12-15T21:59:59.629-08:00First Day at the New School<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I can't even describe this place. Really neat campus, covered in snow this freezing cold morning.</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">It feels good to be the new guy. All eyes on me :P</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">See...</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">In a previous post, "The Good and The Bad," I quickly said this was my 14</span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">th</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> school. My family moves... frequently. It's normal to move maybe twice or three times per school year. We try to stay in the same city, but sometimes it doesn't work out that way. I have absolutely no control over where we move, and I've come to accept that. I've lived in California for most of my life, but have lived in Vegas, Seattle, and Iowa. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I'm happy that my parents decided to make me start over in a new place, yet sad that they made me leave at such a crucial point in my life. I'm a senior in High School and I'm trying to set up my life. They know that I'm having difficulties, but I refuse to let them in. I can't tell them that the reason I've been acting so different lately is because I want to be myself. But I can't. :/ ugh. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">No more moving for me. At least, not until I move to the campus for college. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Anywho</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">... it's so cold here! Currently 24 degrees! Someone come and keep me warm =)</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Looking forward to the snow on Wednesday night! The mountains are COVERED with powder! Skiing next week probably! </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new'; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new'; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">OH! I met someone yesterday... he's really handsome and really nice. Coffee plans later this week. Lets see how it goes :)</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Until My Next Random </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Thought</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">,</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">DL</span></span></span></div>Lost in Confusionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15383915648360592960noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-307228632428681164.post-45813324935838238942008-12-11T00:54:00.000-08:002008-12-11T22:04:18.377-08:00Great...Now I'm the bad guy. Just when I thought I could be honest with myself and the people I care about...<div><br /></div><div>I feel so stupid, and so ashamed. But you can't be a hypocrite. </div><div>I'm braking rules... but not in the way that you would think.</div><div><br /></div><div>Stuck. Great.</div><div><br /></div><div>Fuck</div><div><br /></div><div>Chinga Mi Vida</div>Lost in Confusionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15383915648360592960noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-307228632428681164.post-8590424326026626582008-12-09T23:04:00.000-08:002008-12-11T22:03:32.826-08:00The Good and The Bad<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">So, it has been 11 days since my last blog-</span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">fession</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. *a word??</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">There has been so much shit flying around, its ridiculous. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">1. My parents decided, since I've been so down lately, that it might be best if I finished school in Seattle. I was told this on </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Tuesday</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> night and I was gone by that Sunday. I can't believe that my parents made me move HALF WAY through my senior year! But they said that it was "for the best" and I give all my faith into the hands of my parents, and if they say it will help me, then I will accept it and go with it. As much as I REALLY didn't want to leave, there was nothing I could do about it. The good that will come of these decisions will be fantastic and hopefully help me to further understand myself, etc. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">2. My moms best friend came up to me, while I was in bed chatting with a gay friend, and decided to bombard me with questions. She told me that it was okay for me to tell her anything and how she would never tell my parents and </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">blahh</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">blahh</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">blahh</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">... Then she started asking me if I knew why I had been so depressed recently and I instantly made up this total bullshit story about a girl and grades. That didn't stop her. The second she said "I think I know what's been messing with your life," I almost shit my pants. Was she really going to assume and ask me if I was gay?? I barely even know this lady! Why the FUCK would I come out to her?! </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Anywho</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">... she said that she's seen this pattern before (yeah, I'm not stupid) and that she thinks I might be gay. I just denied it and gave good examples of why I was straight. I hate lying about this, but really? Is it any of your fucking business? Why the hell would I tell you if I'm gay? Seriously. So after our "heart to heart" she left and I went back to chatting. I feel really heartless for saying it like this, but I </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">know </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">that me being gay and not telling anybody is why I've been acting the way I've been. Blogging is my way of coming out, one step at a time.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">3. Saying Goodbye. That pretty much sums that up.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">4. Beginning Anew. I know that by being here I will stay much more focused with my academics and it gives me a chance to start out... OUT. kinda. I'm not sure if I want to do that, yet. If not, there's still college, right? So this is school number 14. Lets hope I can pull myself together and not fuck this one up. :)</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Thank You guys who commented my other posts. All commentary is greatly appreciated and taken note of. You guys are some of my only connections to the "Real World," one that You can be You and don't have to worry about anything. I want that, and one day I'll have the guts to do what I need to do to achieve it. But for now, I'm just gonna stick to this.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'courier new';font-size:13px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'courier new';font-size:13px;">Until Then,</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'courier new';font-size:13px;">-- DL</span></div>Lost in Confusionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15383915648360592960noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-307228632428681164.post-87191040466366211452008-11-28T17:02:00.000-08:002008-12-11T22:01:53.929-08:00Being Gay...<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">..Is ruining my life.</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">I wish I was straight. Having to hide all this bullshit is so hard.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">Is there anyone out there having the same difficulties as me? Not coming out difficulties (although, I have tons of those problems too), but difficulties pretending to be straight?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">I find myself staring at hot guys as I drive next to them, forgetting I have a close straight friend in the passenger seat. I'm having to constantly cover my steps. Being in a relationship with somebody is completely out of the question...</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">I'm beginning to lose my cool, driving faster, ignoring simple rules, wanting to scream at pedestrians. I don't know why. I've become so unfriendly so quickly. I'm losing my friends, my best friends. Beginning to do things that I don't want to do...</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">I need help. But until then, I'm going to put the fake smile back up and pretend. Pretend my life feels like it's going to be okay, when in reality it's falling to shit. Pretend that I haven't been crying for no, noticeable, reason almost everyday for the past week. Pretend that I'm not gay. Pretend to not be Me. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">So far, so good.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'courier new';font-size:13px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'courier new';font-size:13px;">I hate feeling sorry for myself. But I cannot risk being discovered. Not yet.</span></div>Lost in Confusionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15383915648360592960noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-307228632428681164.post-78247239269570010202008-11-21T03:12:00.000-08:002008-12-11T22:00:38.681-08:00Ohh....My.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">WOW.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I just saw the premier of Twilight, and I have to say... Amazing. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Great story! Great characters! Great movie!</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">and really cute lead actors :P</span></div><div><br /></div><div><a href="http://s44.photobucket.com/albums/f23/spikeycor/?action=view&current=twilightcastedward.png" target="_blank"><img src="http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f23/spikeycor/twilightcastedward.png" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /></div>Lost in Confusionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15383915648360592960noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-307228632428681164.post-27970773701351104032008-11-17T01:10:00.000-08:002009-01-06T01:44:30.446-08:00I Am...Such an ASSHOLE.<div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>:(</div>Lost in Confusionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15383915648360592960noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-307228632428681164.post-27534856323241446732008-11-04T20:26:00.000-08:002008-11-04T20:29:17.693-08:00Ahh Man...<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; ">I would've preferred to have McCain as president... but either way, Congrats to Obama. </span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I wish you luck, and hope you don't fuck up. :)</span></div>Lost in Confusionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15383915648360592960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-307228632428681164.post-18530196832752855802008-10-28T21:29:00.000-07:002008-10-28T22:51:31.437-07:00Why Am I Here?<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I haven't even expressed why I'm writing a blog, why I'm starting this new chapter of honesty in my life.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The story goes:</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I am a senior in high school and have just recently decided that I am "gay." I'm not even sure I really am Gay... but from what's been happening recently in my life, I'm starting to doubt I'm straight, or even bi. For a while now, I've just seem myself as Bi. I've been in only one serious (from what I thought) relationship with a girl. We had a lot of fun, but eventually I just stopped loving her and stopped showing affection for her. I didn't know if it was because I was attracted to other things, or if I just genuinely didn't care about her the same way that I used to. Sooo, I broke up with her. It hurt, but it was the right thing to do. I didn't want to be an asshole that led people on. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Fast forward about 3 or 4 months. I'm in Seattle for the summer. I go up there every year and next fall will be attending college there. I feel that it's okay to give out that information, because I don't intend on revealing my identity. Anywho... In Seattle, Bored as FUCK, I decide to entertain myself and begin taking pictures of everything! First my little yorkie, Cash, next the scenery from the balcony of the house. Then the camera seemed to shift onto myself. I suddenly wanted to begin Filming myself. Sooo I picked out some music and began lip syncing. That was a failure haha. So I decided to see if anybody else in the world was either equally bored as I, or better at lip syncing than me. There were. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">So I look through these hilarious videos and spot one fellah that really caught my eye. We will call him KYGuy for now, until I can think up a better name. SO, I really really really liked this guy's videos. Totally hilarious, creative, and origional. He is so cute. Anywho, I decided to join in on the video community and started uploading immediately. I found myself wanting to watch more and more of his videos. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Fast Forward a couple weeks:</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I'm back in Southern California. First day back and there's a birthday to go to. I'm at a friend's house and decide that I want to talk to this cute guy from the internet (KYGuy). Never before have I EVER told any male what I thought about them, or that I was attracted to them. So this was a first, and I was so nervous. I wanted to remain anonymous to him and let him know my feelings before I came out and told him who I was. That didn't work. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The first time we chatted, I told him I was really attracted to him. And then, all of the sudden, he wrote back "You're kinda cute yourself." I was SHOCKED, DUMBFOUNDED, SWEATING, PRAYING TO GOD HE WAS KIDDING. Little did I know, I was dealing with a professional Google-Goer. lol. Stupid me made it so my video account had the same name as my instant messaging account. STUPID STUPID STUPID. I was soooo embarrassed. Didn't expect it at all. So after about 15 mins or so, I had to go, because I had to help set up for the party. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The entire time I was at the party or setting up or cleaning up, all I could think about was this guy. The first GUY I ever "came out" to. The first HUMAN BEING I had ever come out to. I was so eager to leave that party that night. I hurried home and plugged in my laptop and jumped online to see if he was still there. He was. Just like he said he would be. :)</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">We began to talk. Our convo was going great. Then, It got better. He wanted to video chat!! I was so nervous. I was feeling a billion different feelings at once and i Loved It. It was just to see each other face to face. He lives on the other side of the country, btw. :(. So I ran to the bathroom and checked my hair and everything and made sure I looked "Okay." And so it began. It was soooooo awkward. We didn't know what to say to each other. I tried so hard not to always smile and I couldn't keep eye contact because I was just so embarrassed. hahaha. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The reason I'm telling this story is because KYGuy is the cover to my "gay life" story-book, figuratively of course. He may not know it, or acknowledge it, but he is a very important person in my life. He's helped me understand my sexuality. And he's the only person I have been able to talk to about anything Gay related at all. I tell him everything and he might feel bombarded with all of my emotions, but I'm so happy he's there to help me with what I'm going through. I'm going to give him the link to this blog later tonight... and I don't want him to think negatively of me about writing this about him. I just want him to know how grateful I am that he is in my life, and if I seem kind of clingy, this is why. :) I need stability in my life and he is a HUGE pillar of trust and confinement that was missing to support me. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">More has gone on between us, but I think he would like me to keep that part private. And I totally respect that. :) </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I look forward to talking to him everyday. I've previously referred to him in my second post "Blahh." He was the friend that I was drunk and talking to. There's so much more to say about him, but thats for another day. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">So for right now, That ^^^ is my short story. I have more to add, but I can't really think clearly right now. I guess that's what Nyquil does to you :P</span></div>Lost in Confusionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15383915648360592960noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-307228632428681164.post-19304521876319186582008-10-28T14:23:00.001-07:002008-12-11T22:07:12.021-08:00What The Hell (Happy Ending)What the Hell is wrong with me.<div><br /></div><div>Sometimes I just get so depressed so quickly over stupid stupid shit.</div><div><br /></div><div>But something just hit me and it totally reversed my mood.</div><div><br /></div><div>When I first created this blog, I wanted to give out secrets, explain myself, give my views on everything. But I wanted to do all of this anonymously. So Stupid ME went and gave my URL to a friend that I see almost everyday, and I realized I could NO LONGER be "myself." </div><div><br /></div><div>I found out today that you can change your URL!! So I did it! </div><div><br /></div><div>Now, I feel so happy and excited to finally be able to share my deepest thoughts with everyone, without being afraid of getting caught or discovered. :) </div>Lost in Confusionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15383915648360592960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-307228632428681164.post-58937093811092654762008-10-27T12:35:00.000-07:002008-12-11T22:07:39.137-08:00Slept In<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Rough night.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I'm so sore :/</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Time to get ready...</span></div>Lost in Confusionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15383915648360592960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-307228632428681164.post-87158167639770222422008-10-26T09:53:00.000-07:002008-12-11T22:08:23.055-08:00Blahh<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Pretty much hung-over. </span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And I hate it.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I had a little "kickback" last night and drank a little to much.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I did an awesome dinosaur impression.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I took MANY pics. (Blehh... Evidence)</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I kicked some people out who claimed that they knew me.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I HATE COCONUT MAILBU RUM. Nastiest shit EVER.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I am never drinking that much, again.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Also,</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I completely humiliated myself while talking to a friend from out of state,</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">said stupid shit, and not listening to their advice... :(</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Damn.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I'm just gonna go take some Ibuprofen and drink some water. Screw food today.</span></div><div><br /></div>Lost in Confusionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15383915648360592960noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-307228632428681164.post-27106394041058232742008-10-25T20:04:00.000-07:002008-12-11T22:09:23.397-08:00The First of Many<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Today, I reveal to the World... my </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">existence</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. </span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Hello Good People of Wherever You Are Currently Situated:</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I am Someone, er... I will be. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I have never before blogged.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I'm definitely new to this whole... Writing thing. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I'm really bad at it, but who gives a damn. I mean, apparently you don't, or you would've stopped reading.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Right?</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">hahaha </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Soooo... I'm not sure what to say.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Just basically introducing myself as a new blogger (I'm not even sure I can call myself that just yet).</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I'm gonna look around and see what other bloggers have written so that I can an idea of how all this works. But for now, I continue to remain ignorant. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I know, I know. Doesn't seem too promising, but soon I'll be writing about me and things that I observe and my thoughts on life and its many confusing obstacles.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">So bare with me while I figure everything out.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I look forward to better entertaining you in the near future. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Late.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><br /></div>Lost in Confusionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15383915648360592960noreply@blogger.com0